Pre-departure prepartions: a long to-do list

This packing chore is not easy. I do not put much thought into my daily wardrobe here; I have acquired a large selection and just pair colors and patterns in an experimental/fun new way at whim.

For Japan, I will not be able to purchase any replacement clothing items I forget. The largest size they sell in shoes is 6.5 and an American size S is a Japanese size XXL (according to Nike). I am afraid I will forget an essential item. It is kind of like grocery shopping: buying peanut butter and jelly but no bread, or cereal but no milk. It sort of renders the items you did buy useless because they do not create a complete meal. The difference is that you cannot go back to the store and buy more because the store is 7014 miles (a 14hr, 30min plane ride) away.

I have been told that it would not be appropriate to bear shoulders in Japan: that they would stare at you. I have also been told, from one source, that the dress is more formal there so I should wear business casual and pants to work every day, even though it is exceptionally hot and humid and I have to walk over a mile to lab. I was told, from another source, that women there are competitive with their fashion and that if I look too fashionable they will think I am like those women and that I do not take my work seriously. Since I wear skirts and dresses a large fraction of the time, I had to go out and buy pants. I was told, more recently from a third source, you do not see women in jeans in Japan, mostly skirts (which I was happy to hear). Really, I think every environment is different there so there is no hard rule and no easy guidelines.

I have been told that they pay a lot of attention to shoes in Japan. That if your shoes are scuzzy, they will think you are not attentive to detail (which would be very, very bad in a lab). Consequently, I had to search for new shoes and purse because those I had (or lacked) were really run down: scratched, ripped, with pieces having fallen off. I can get by in the US but I do not think it would make a professional impression in Japan.

I have been told that it is important to give gifts in Japan. That I need to make them nice, but not too nice because then they will feel awkward and obligated to give you something in return. You need to make sure that you give people of higher rank/age/respect better gifts and they must be wrapped in a specific way (different colors meaning different things). Perhaps this is like the gift of roses in the United States. There are very specific criteria for wrapping there but apparently they do not expect us non-Japanese folks to meet their standards. Directions: http://relache.hubpages.com/hub/art-of-japanese-gift-wrap
My graduate program has been so kind as to give me some free university swag: cloth bags, card holders (both travel and desktop), pens, markers, water bottles. I also thought it would be fun to include Old Bay seasoning (since we use that in the US on fish and they eat fish for... every meal) and a box of grits (b/c it is cliche for "the south"). I'm certain I will not have enough gifts. It is scary because apparently it is super offensive. I'm fully expecting to offend many people while in Japan.

I feel this pressure to be perfect there and the knowledge that it is so far from possible. The culture is so driven by trying to be perfect. On the plus side, I think they will give me grace to not meet their standards. Hopefully my faults can be balanced off with some positive qualities.